Several years ago Elvis Presley belted out this song:
It’s one for the money
Two for the show
Three to get ready
And go cat go.
But don’t you step on my blue suede shoes
You can do anything but lay off of my blue suede shoes.
Did you know everybody has at least one pair of emotional “blue suede shoes”? You’ll know when someone is stepping on them, because you’ll usually over react. These are your emotional trigger points. They get set off when a painful memory or an unmet need is touched upon. Research tells us that except for universal stressors like war or natural disaster, it is our perception of an experience that determines our mood, feelings and therefore our responses. Even Elvis knew that:
Well, you can knock me down
Step in my face
Slander my name
All over the place
Do anything that you want to do
But uh-uh, honey
Lay off of my shoes
Don’t you step on my blue suede shoes
Well, you can do anything
But stay off of my blue suede shoes
Knocked down! Slandered! Stepped on! None of these things bothered him. They weren’t his sensitivity points. This means that what can deeply affect you may not touch another person at all. It may not bother you when a close friend receives an invitation to a wedding and you do not, even though you both know the bride approximately the same amount of time. Someone else might experience this as a painful rejection. And why they do so is often connected to a root of pain, which has never been addressed.
Let’s look at the example of Ruth and Naomi. They faced the same series of events, famine and the death of their husbands. Yet Ruth did not become bitter like her mother-in-law. She adjusted to the reality of her situation. What was Ruth’s perception? Maybe, she didn’t feel entitled to a life without sorrow? Perhaps the love of God so filled her heart that she trusted in frightful circumstance? Or is it that she didn’t perceive herself as a victim, so she was able to go forward. All this made her resilient.
Take the case of Jonathan and Saul and their relationship with David. Jonathan could have been angry because he was the heir to the throne, but David was chosen for that role. Yet, Jonathan became David’s best friend.
Contrast Saul ‘s reaction as he perceived David through the lens of jealousy and control. What was he telling himself as the Hebrew women sang David’s praise? Did the inner voice of rejection poison his mind? Was David ‘s success a trigger for Saul’s remembered failure as he lost the kingship through disobedience?
And most of all, Yeshua (Jesus) who said “Father, forgive them they know not what they do” while being nailed to a cross. (Luke23:34). Next time your feel trod on, and you’re caught in what I call ‘the vortex’, a place of replaying the same conversation over and over with an angry or hurt rush of emotion, try uncovering the lie holding you captive. What wound is pressed on? Rejection? Loss of control? Injustice? And how would you like to perceive this experience?
Write on one side of a piece of paper how you perceive the situation. Ask the Lord, “Am I believing a lie about myself like “I’m unworthy” or “unlovable” Then pray and invite God’s perspective. Ask Him, “What is your truth in these circumstances?” This is life-changing prayer. It gives Yeshua a gateway to enter deeply into your mind and heart. What does Scripture say about your true identity and place of rest? As you open your heart to restoration, forgiveness and repentance once again, Yeshua calls you ‘overcomer’, not ‘failure’.
This is an opportunity to know yourself and God better. If you understand your triggers they begin to lose power. You can identify them as your personal pitfalls, and handle them with grace as you receive healing.
Rabbi Eliezer Berkowitz in his book With God in Hell: Judaism in the Ghettos and Death Camp describes his experience in the Holocaust. Berkowitz realized that even the most humiliating treatment, which was itself designed to strip people of their humanity, could not determine his worth. He states that he and other observant Jews in the concentration camp determined that it was their role to guard the Imago Dei, the image of God within them. This meant if they had to get up at 4am to work, they got up at 3am to pray. If they were thrown a scrap of moldy bread, they blessed it. For Berkovitz, the Holocaust was a spiritual confrontation against pure evil. Those who followed Jewish observances, even in the camps performed a sacred service to God. By doing so, they guarded the divine image in mankind by facing unimaginable suffering and relentless degradation while keeping their faith. In the midst of it all, they had fellowship with God.
Above all remember this, the deepest part of you belongs to the Lord, and nothing can take away that belonging. Nothing can separate you from the love of God. (Romans 8:38-3)
Partner with us
We welcome your partnering with us at Anchor of Hope.
Join us in His mission to mend the broken-hearted in Israel”